Who are you raising: The sequel

Thank you for the insightful comments on my last article, "Who are you raising?". I felt that it was necessary for me to do a follow-up to some key issues which some of you raised. I must confess you presented a number of very interesting points which I will try and address from my point of view. Before I delve into that however, let me re-emphasize that I am not advocating for us to try and pull ourselves into the dark ages. I am very happy with how the world is unfolding and hope that we continue to progress! My only concern is that our children should have an understanding of who they are and where they come from. Let us celebrate our heritage as we progress into modernity! Allow your children to have an understanding of their heritage as well instead of making them somewhat excluded from it because as much as we might try to run from it, it is still a part of who we are!

One key issue which was raised was that we as young parents living in the diaspora or in bigger cities from the ones we grew up in are raising our children in an environment which is different from the environment which we were raised and we ourselves are still on the path of self discovery because we, like our children, are still growing. Young parents out there fear that they might not have learnt enough from their parents to be in a position to then transmit that knowledge to their children.

My answers will start by drawing a contrast between ourselves and our parents. I am sure this might not apply to everyone, but I am sure that a greater percentage of our Zimbabwean parents grew up in what we refer to as rural areas. This  can be attributed to the colonial legacy which placed people in reserves and these people would only be allowed to move to urban areas if they had passes or when they got jobs. With independence more people began to move into urban areas and that is how some of us came to be raised in urban areas through rural to urban migration. My reason for bringing up this background information is just to show that some of our parents, just like us, did not raise their children in the environment in which they grew up. You may argue that theirs wasn't a huge difference seeing as the migration was internal and the cultural differences were minimal. I however think that if you put yourselves in their context you will appreciate how much of an impact this could have had on an individual. Imagine moving from a communal environment, where you lived with your extended family and close relations and any form of help was a stone throw away, then suddenly finding yourself in a huge city with all it's lights and splendour, and women wearing trousers and lipstick! One could have had a culture shock! Already by this brief illustration we can see that even though they were in the same country, they like us were at some point young parents trying to raise children in an environment foreign to them and they like us also felt they hadn't learnt enough of their culture to impart much to their children.

You are probably asking yourselves how on earth they managed! Well in my view, it is so true that it takes a whole village to raise a child! We really do not have to go it alone guys. We have so many institutions at our disposal. In today's world, that quotation should be changed to it takes a "global village" to raise a child. I must acknowledge that the internet has become a hub of knowledge about our different cultures and heritage. There are people out there who are busy ensuring that we never perish because we lack wisdom! Just this morning I wanted to get a better understanding of why black African people had totems and I found a very good article explaining how totems were used as a tool of unifying families, amongst other things! Having read it, I said to myself, one more question I will have an answer for when the time comes!

The second tool which I believe our parents used effectively was to allow us to interact with the gurus of wisdom and culture, our grandparents! Why do you think they sent us "kumusha/ekhaya" for the holidays? Why do you think our grandparents would sit down with us and tell us ngano when they visited us. I believe I learnt a lot about my background from those times I interacted with my grandparents and funny enough, I din't even realise it until now! Let us never underestimate the importance and the role which our parents, aunts and uncles can plan in the process of raising our own children. Use your social networks, they are free!

Once again, good luck!