This morning, I read a very shocking news article which talked about how pornographic movies were being sold in the streets of Harare and anyone, regardless of age could buy them as they were clearly labelled and being sold openly and with no age restrictions.
What was sad however was the comments which followed that article. One particular comment caught my eye. It stated that the reporter was wrong in putting this information out in the papers because they had actually informed more minors where they could access this explicit material. The comment further read: "Stop promoting immorality by pretending to be exposing it" (http://www.newsday.co.zw/article/2011-08-22-pornographic-discs-hit-harare-streets).
To me, this reaction was unfortunate as it continues to show that many people still believe that by not talking about sex and sexuality with our children we will be actually protecting them. Whilst it is true that this article could have brought awareness to those young people in Harare who did not yet know where to find the pornographic material, I believe that this journalist should have been applauded for being a whistle blower to parents in and around Harare as well.
Statistics in sub-Saharan Africa have shown that our failure to talk more openly about sex with our parents and our children played a major role in the spread of Aids. Even after preventative methods such as condoms had been discovered, parents still found sex a touchy topic and preferred not to discuss it with their children. I will not go into the impact this has had on our society as I am sure we all know very well.
Instead of us trying to run away from the reality, which has been presented by the journalist, which is that explicit content is being sold freely on the streets, shouldn't we instead be focusing on how we can protect our children from this content as well as teaching them why it is wrong for them to expose themselves to such content? If we want to be honest about this issue, our children are probably more aware of where such things can be found, even if they are not on the streets! Is this not the role the media is supposed to play in our society, to educate, inform and raise awareness? Will this article not lead to the relevant authorities taking stricter measures to ensure that this content is removed from the streets? I believe that it is immoral for parents to try and hide behind silence when it comes to issues related to sex! The more these issues are raised and more parents are aware of where their children access to some of these potentially unsafe things, the better our society's chances in the many struggles it faces with the future generation!
This is once again me, thinking aloud...
Monday, August 22, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Who are you raising: The sequel
Thank you for the insightful comments on my last article, "Who are you raising?". I felt that it was necessary for me to do a follow-up to some key issues which some of you raised. I must confess you presented a number of very interesting points which I will try and address from my point of view. Before I delve into that however, let me re-emphasize that I am not advocating for us to try and pull ourselves into the dark ages. I am very happy with how the world is unfolding and hope that we continue to progress! My only concern is that our children should have an understanding of who they are and where they come from. Let us celebrate our heritage as we progress into modernity! Allow your children to have an understanding of their heritage as well instead of making them somewhat excluded from it because as much as we might try to run from it, it is still a part of who we are!
One key issue which was raised was that we as young parents living in the diaspora or in bigger cities from the ones we grew up in are raising our children in an environment which is different from the environment which we were raised and we ourselves are still on the path of self discovery because we, like our children, are still growing. Young parents out there fear that they might not have learnt enough from their parents to be in a position to then transmit that knowledge to their children.
My answers will start by drawing a contrast between ourselves and our parents. I am sure this might not apply to everyone, but I am sure that a greater percentage of our Zimbabwean parents grew up in what we refer to as rural areas. This can be attributed to the colonial legacy which placed people in reserves and these people would only be allowed to move to urban areas if they had passes or when they got jobs. With independence more people began to move into urban areas and that is how some of us came to be raised in urban areas through rural to urban migration. My reason for bringing up this background information is just to show that some of our parents, just like us, did not raise their children in the environment in which they grew up. You may argue that theirs wasn't a huge difference seeing as the migration was internal and the cultural differences were minimal. I however think that if you put yourselves in their context you will appreciate how much of an impact this could have had on an individual. Imagine moving from a communal environment, where you lived with your extended family and close relations and any form of help was a stone throw away, then suddenly finding yourself in a huge city with all it's lights and splendour, and women wearing trousers and lipstick! One could have had a culture shock! Already by this brief illustration we can see that even though they were in the same country, they like us were at some point young parents trying to raise children in an environment foreign to them and they like us also felt they hadn't learnt enough of their culture to impart much to their children.
You are probably asking yourselves how on earth they managed! Well in my view, it is so true that it takes a whole village to raise a child! We really do not have to go it alone guys. We have so many institutions at our disposal. In today's world, that quotation should be changed to it takes a "global village" to raise a child. I must acknowledge that the internet has become a hub of knowledge about our different cultures and heritage. There are people out there who are busy ensuring that we never perish because we lack wisdom! Just this morning I wanted to get a better understanding of why black African people had totems and I found a very good article explaining how totems were used as a tool of unifying families, amongst other things! Having read it, I said to myself, one more question I will have an answer for when the time comes!
The second tool which I believe our parents used effectively was to allow us to interact with the gurus of wisdom and culture, our grandparents! Why do you think they sent us "kumusha/ekhaya" for the holidays? Why do you think our grandparents would sit down with us and tell us ngano when they visited us. I believe I learnt a lot about my background from those times I interacted with my grandparents and funny enough, I din't even realise it until now! Let us never underestimate the importance and the role which our parents, aunts and uncles can plan in the process of raising our own children. Use your social networks, they are free!
Once again, good luck!
One key issue which was raised was that we as young parents living in the diaspora or in bigger cities from the ones we grew up in are raising our children in an environment which is different from the environment which we were raised and we ourselves are still on the path of self discovery because we, like our children, are still growing. Young parents out there fear that they might not have learnt enough from their parents to be in a position to then transmit that knowledge to their children.
My answers will start by drawing a contrast between ourselves and our parents. I am sure this might not apply to everyone, but I am sure that a greater percentage of our Zimbabwean parents grew up in what we refer to as rural areas. This can be attributed to the colonial legacy which placed people in reserves and these people would only be allowed to move to urban areas if they had passes or when they got jobs. With independence more people began to move into urban areas and that is how some of us came to be raised in urban areas through rural to urban migration. My reason for bringing up this background information is just to show that some of our parents, just like us, did not raise their children in the environment in which they grew up. You may argue that theirs wasn't a huge difference seeing as the migration was internal and the cultural differences were minimal. I however think that if you put yourselves in their context you will appreciate how much of an impact this could have had on an individual. Imagine moving from a communal environment, where you lived with your extended family and close relations and any form of help was a stone throw away, then suddenly finding yourself in a huge city with all it's lights and splendour, and women wearing trousers and lipstick! One could have had a culture shock! Already by this brief illustration we can see that even though they were in the same country, they like us were at some point young parents trying to raise children in an environment foreign to them and they like us also felt they hadn't learnt enough of their culture to impart much to their children.
You are probably asking yourselves how on earth they managed! Well in my view, it is so true that it takes a whole village to raise a child! We really do not have to go it alone guys. We have so many institutions at our disposal. In today's world, that quotation should be changed to it takes a "global village" to raise a child. I must acknowledge that the internet has become a hub of knowledge about our different cultures and heritage. There are people out there who are busy ensuring that we never perish because we lack wisdom! Just this morning I wanted to get a better understanding of why black African people had totems and I found a very good article explaining how totems were used as a tool of unifying families, amongst other things! Having read it, I said to myself, one more question I will have an answer for when the time comes!
The second tool which I believe our parents used effectively was to allow us to interact with the gurus of wisdom and culture, our grandparents! Why do you think they sent us "kumusha/ekhaya" for the holidays? Why do you think our grandparents would sit down with us and tell us ngano when they visited us. I believe I learnt a lot about my background from those times I interacted with my grandparents and funny enough, I din't even realise it until now! Let us never underestimate the importance and the role which our parents, aunts and uncles can plan in the process of raising our own children. Use your social networks, they are free!
Once again, good luck!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Who are you raising?
I got an interesting email from a group I am following and towards the end of the email, a few questions were raised by the author. I din't think much about most of the questions, but the one which caught my eye was the question which asked: "Who are you raising?". The email talked about how as parents, we do not know for certain who our children will become so we must raise them with love as they might one day take care of us or even change the world.
As I reflected more on this question, I started thinking about all those children being raised in foreign lands which for most of us has become home. You see, in the busy hassles of everyday life, we can easily forget about teaching our children about their culture and heritage or even their language but most of all about their true identity. I think it is not enough to give your child a Shona middle name because you are Shona and do not want them to forget that. It is however good that you have given them an option so that when they grow up they can choose what they will call themselves - the English/French/hebrew or the native language name.
This question got me thinking about an interesting encounter I had with a certain young man. I do not even remember his name. Anyway, a while back, an associate and I went to collect a young man who was going for some test we were also sitting for. The young man couldn't have been older than 20, he had lived in Zimbabwe until he was 16 then he had relocated to South Africa with his parents. He jumped into the car, and said "Hello!" in a very refined English accent.
My associate being somewhat conservative and a bit rude looked at him and told him in my native language, Shona, that he din't have to speak in English because we were all Shona. The young man would hear nothing of it and continued in English whilst this associate of mine, who was male also insisted on replying him in Shona. I think there were some male ego issues at play! This conversation degenerated to a point where my associate asked the young man if he even had an idea what his totem was. The young man without hesitation told him that he was a Moyo Chirandu.
I must admit I was shocked that the young man knew what his totem was because based on the impression he gave initially, I had assumed that he would be clueless because I have met a lot of people who have been excluded from their culture and background who looked and acted a lot like this young man. His answer also seemed to have earned him some respect from my associate who had already started calling him names like "munose".
This young man taught me a very important lesson about his parents. It's true that he came from a privileged background, had gone to some of the most expensive schools both in Zimbabwe and in South Africa, but whoever his parents were, they had been sure to impart in him some knowledge of who he really was. They left it up to him to him to choose who he wanted to become. It also made me remember a few friends I had met whose parents had been Malawian and Zambians but who had relocated to Zimbabwe. These guys had never gone back to Malawi/ Zambia and their fathers had been buried in Zimbabwe, but they could speak so fluently Nyanja which were their father's native tongue.
I know so many of you reading this will think that we are in the modern ages, who cares if your totem is a Lion or a Monkey or a Rat. Who cares if you can speak Shona, Ndebele, Nyanja or Vemba... those are after all not United Nations or World Bank recognized languages! Some of you are saying to yourself, culture is dynamic and always changing but in my defence I will quote Marcus Garvey; who said, "A people without the knowledge or their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots." It is my view that as the new generation of parents, we owe it to our children to give them a choice like our parents did. They laid everything on the table for us and it was up to each of us to choose what we would take up and who we would become. We all need to be grounded in something besides religion because if we truly know who we are, no one will ever be able to make us feel like a lesser being. So today I leave each young parent with the same question: who are you raising?? How much of your true identity are you going to allow your children to know? Are you going to exclude them from the richness of the culture which you grew up in? A culture which like any other might have had it's weakness but which is yours. Are you going to allow your child to drift and flow with any ideology which belongs to whoever comes their way because they want to belong to something?? Are you going to be the dictatorial parent who tells their child only what they should not do and not the cultural background to that decision?
My dear young parents the task ahead of us is huge especially in this "global village" but let us not tire, let us play our part in giving roots to these trees we call our children! Food for thought!
As I reflected more on this question, I started thinking about all those children being raised in foreign lands which for most of us has become home. You see, in the busy hassles of everyday life, we can easily forget about teaching our children about their culture and heritage or even their language but most of all about their true identity. I think it is not enough to give your child a Shona middle name because you are Shona and do not want them to forget that. It is however good that you have given them an option so that when they grow up they can choose what they will call themselves - the English/French/hebrew or the native language name.
This question got me thinking about an interesting encounter I had with a certain young man. I do not even remember his name. Anyway, a while back, an associate and I went to collect a young man who was going for some test we were also sitting for. The young man couldn't have been older than 20, he had lived in Zimbabwe until he was 16 then he had relocated to South Africa with his parents. He jumped into the car, and said "Hello!" in a very refined English accent.
My associate being somewhat conservative and a bit rude looked at him and told him in my native language, Shona, that he din't have to speak in English because we were all Shona. The young man would hear nothing of it and continued in English whilst this associate of mine, who was male also insisted on replying him in Shona. I think there were some male ego issues at play! This conversation degenerated to a point where my associate asked the young man if he even had an idea what his totem was. The young man without hesitation told him that he was a Moyo Chirandu.
I must admit I was shocked that the young man knew what his totem was because based on the impression he gave initially, I had assumed that he would be clueless because I have met a lot of people who have been excluded from their culture and background who looked and acted a lot like this young man. His answer also seemed to have earned him some respect from my associate who had already started calling him names like "munose".
This young man taught me a very important lesson about his parents. It's true that he came from a privileged background, had gone to some of the most expensive schools both in Zimbabwe and in South Africa, but whoever his parents were, they had been sure to impart in him some knowledge of who he really was. They left it up to him to him to choose who he wanted to become. It also made me remember a few friends I had met whose parents had been Malawian and Zambians but who had relocated to Zimbabwe. These guys had never gone back to Malawi/ Zambia and their fathers had been buried in Zimbabwe, but they could speak so fluently Nyanja which were their father's native tongue.
I know so many of you reading this will think that we are in the modern ages, who cares if your totem is a Lion or a Monkey or a Rat. Who cares if you can speak Shona, Ndebele, Nyanja or Vemba... those are after all not United Nations or World Bank recognized languages! Some of you are saying to yourself, culture is dynamic and always changing but in my defence I will quote Marcus Garvey; who said, "A people without the knowledge or their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots." It is my view that as the new generation of parents, we owe it to our children to give them a choice like our parents did. They laid everything on the table for us and it was up to each of us to choose what we would take up and who we would become. We all need to be grounded in something besides religion because if we truly know who we are, no one will ever be able to make us feel like a lesser being. So today I leave each young parent with the same question: who are you raising?? How much of your true identity are you going to allow your children to know? Are you going to exclude them from the richness of the culture which you grew up in? A culture which like any other might have had it's weakness but which is yours. Are you going to allow your child to drift and flow with any ideology which belongs to whoever comes their way because they want to belong to something?? Are you going to be the dictatorial parent who tells their child only what they should not do and not the cultural background to that decision?
My dear young parents the task ahead of us is huge especially in this "global village" but let us not tire, let us play our part in giving roots to these trees we call our children! Food for thought!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Headphones and Alienation
"My child, is this the queue for taxis to Rivonia?" an elderly woman asked me a few months back. I told her that indeed that was the line. She proceeded to the back of the queue which had become very long. As she walked away from me, I began to ask myself why the woman had chosen to ask me instead of the 7 or so people who were at the beginning of the line. Why had she found me the best person to ask about the taxi.
Call me old fashioned, but I think once in a while it would be good if you would walk around your neighbourhood without your headphones and reconnect with what is happening around you. I am convinced that if you do this, you will be surprised at how much you will enjoy your surroundings. It would also be good for someone to walk up to you without hesitation and ask for directions without fearing that they are disturbing you. We are after all social beings and are supposed to interact with those we meet where necessary. These are just my thoughts....
This question kept eating me up, I am one person who reads a lot into every situation. My first thoughts, which were very wrong, had been that maybe I had the most inviting expression on my face. It was after all a Monday morning and most people tended to be very grumpy at 6:30am.
After a bit of observation, I discovered that her reason had been simple, I was the first person from the beginning of the line who did not have headphones! That to her meant that I was available to listen! This observation got me pondering about the impact which headphones have heard in alienating individuals as well eroding our tradition. Anyone who has used public transport in South Africa will know that often when the more mature members of our society get into the taxi, they usually just greet who ever is already sitting in the taxi. Because of our headphones however this is often met with silence as people are engrossed in their own little spaces, listening to their music. The same applies in our neighbourhoods, when we were growing up, it was customary to greet who your neighbours and anyone whom you knew and happen to meet as you walked up or down the streets. This was a way which people connected with one another.
With the cellphone now becoming more and more multi-purpose and people able to store music and whatever else they need on it, my fear is that more and more people, especially the youth will become alienated and isolated from their community and absorbed in a small utopia they create for themselves. My observations on the morning I mentioned above go a long way to prove this. You see, when we finally got onto the taxi, people only interacted as they passed the taxi-fares to the driver and as soon as that was settled, the headphones were tucked in place and were only removed when one wanted to tell the driver that they had reached their destination and wanted to get off. Headphones to me are a clear "Do not disturb" sign and often people miss out on a lot of things happening in their environment because of them. I bet if you asked one of these people what colour dress the person sitting beside them was wearing they would have never known because they were locked away from their environment.
Call me old fashioned, but I think once in a while it would be good if you would walk around your neighbourhood without your headphones and reconnect with what is happening around you. I am convinced that if you do this, you will be surprised at how much you will enjoy your surroundings. It would also be good for someone to walk up to you without hesitation and ask for directions without fearing that they are disturbing you. We are after all social beings and are supposed to interact with those we meet where necessary. These are just my thoughts....
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Liberalise the airwaves... my selfish, kinder pedestrian reasons
I remember, growing up in a small town in the Southern part of Zimbabwe. It was a small town and never had much going on to get much media coverage.
I listened to the radio every morning before I left home for school. I remember hearing a traffic report, all it said was that robots were not working along Simon Mazorodze, Herbet Chitepo or one of those fancy streets in Harare I had never been to.We dint even have robots in our town at that time! Back then I never really thought of it much, because our town was small and slow and there was never much traffic to talk about.
Then I remember listening to my favorite DJs on radio, broadcasting live from the Harare Agricultural Show. Some of my friends who had relatives in Harare used to travel to Harare so that they too could see the DJs live as well as maybe get a chance to be on radio... some were lucky, but most never got the chance.
We also had our own agricultural show in our small town. It was a highlight and if you were in boarding school, the headmasters would make an exception and allow you to go and enjoy the agricultural show. We had many talented DJs, one of my uncles was very popular in the town for his music prowess and he and his friends would set up their equipment and play music as students and youths gathered around and listened. Still I never read much into how different this could have been and how these talented young men could have actually made a career out of their music.
As fate would have it I eventually left the country. My first destination was Durban. There we had radio stations for Durban, one of my favourites then was called Mgagasi 98.4fm. It was in Zulu and talked a lot about what was happening in Durban and eThekwini. I didn't read much into it as well, because I figured South Africa has resources and they can afford this luxury of community radio stations!
A few months back, I visited a very small and remote town in Madagascar called Fort Dauphin. It is smaller and much poorer than the town I grew up in and to my surprise, they too have their own radio station. It is nothing fancy, probably doesn't have the best equipment in the world but it is theirs. The other week, I listened to the DJ celebrating a modelling contest which had taken place in a small bar in the town. It felt like it was something extra-ordinary, but it really wasn't, it was a community hanging out and using their radio station to celebrate their successes, no matter how small. I started thinking about the Miss Muchekes, Miss Masvingo, Miss Flamboyants which took place in my town of birth. I thought of how some of us who had strict curfews never really got to know who won even though we desperately wanted to know because there was a breakdown in communications platforms in my town.
The small radio station in Fort Dauphin employs individuals who might never have stood a chance in the competition in the capital city. Young and old people get a chance to share their stories with people who might care to listen because they identify with their struggles and successes.
Looking back now, I feel deprived and wish that I too had had a community radio station where we could have heard our own voices. I look at my uncle whose DJ dreams were still-born because he failed to break into the limited spaces available to broadcast in the national radio stations. I also think about the many young people who aspired for space in this profession but never got the chance. I think about the many voices, the many beautiful stories which remain untold in my small town, because they were perceived as irrelevant in the capital city!
My reasons are not political, hell three quarters of the people I meet are not even that much interested in politics. They just want to listen to a radio or watch a television program which they identify with! Liberalise the airwaves for the small people, in small towns like me, small people with small businesses who might not afford prime time advertising on national radio, but who would love to advertise their produce to their neighbours. Liberalise our airwaves so that we hear about Hay Robertson St, Haurovi P. Chinamano St. and Building Brigade St. which I could identify with in my home town!
These are my selfish reasons, why Zimbabwe should liberalise the airwaves. I hope someone out there understands and that one day this dream will come true for all small communities in my beloved nation!
I listened to the radio every morning before I left home for school. I remember hearing a traffic report, all it said was that robots were not working along Simon Mazorodze, Herbet Chitepo or one of those fancy streets in Harare I had never been to.We dint even have robots in our town at that time! Back then I never really thought of it much, because our town was small and slow and there was never much traffic to talk about.
Then I remember listening to my favorite DJs on radio, broadcasting live from the Harare Agricultural Show. Some of my friends who had relatives in Harare used to travel to Harare so that they too could see the DJs live as well as maybe get a chance to be on radio... some were lucky, but most never got the chance.
We also had our own agricultural show in our small town. It was a highlight and if you were in boarding school, the headmasters would make an exception and allow you to go and enjoy the agricultural show. We had many talented DJs, one of my uncles was very popular in the town for his music prowess and he and his friends would set up their equipment and play music as students and youths gathered around and listened. Still I never read much into how different this could have been and how these talented young men could have actually made a career out of their music.
As fate would have it I eventually left the country. My first destination was Durban. There we had radio stations for Durban, one of my favourites then was called Mgagasi 98.4fm. It was in Zulu and talked a lot about what was happening in Durban and eThekwini. I didn't read much into it as well, because I figured South Africa has resources and they can afford this luxury of community radio stations!
A few months back, I visited a very small and remote town in Madagascar called Fort Dauphin. It is smaller and much poorer than the town I grew up in and to my surprise, they too have their own radio station. It is nothing fancy, probably doesn't have the best equipment in the world but it is theirs. The other week, I listened to the DJ celebrating a modelling contest which had taken place in a small bar in the town. It felt like it was something extra-ordinary, but it really wasn't, it was a community hanging out and using their radio station to celebrate their successes, no matter how small. I started thinking about the Miss Muchekes, Miss Masvingo, Miss Flamboyants which took place in my town of birth. I thought of how some of us who had strict curfews never really got to know who won even though we desperately wanted to know because there was a breakdown in communications platforms in my town.
The small radio station in Fort Dauphin employs individuals who might never have stood a chance in the competition in the capital city. Young and old people get a chance to share their stories with people who might care to listen because they identify with their struggles and successes.
Looking back now, I feel deprived and wish that I too had had a community radio station where we could have heard our own voices. I look at my uncle whose DJ dreams were still-born because he failed to break into the limited spaces available to broadcast in the national radio stations. I also think about the many young people who aspired for space in this profession but never got the chance. I think about the many voices, the many beautiful stories which remain untold in my small town, because they were perceived as irrelevant in the capital city!
My reasons are not political, hell three quarters of the people I meet are not even that much interested in politics. They just want to listen to a radio or watch a television program which they identify with! Liberalise the airwaves for the small people, in small towns like me, small people with small businesses who might not afford prime time advertising on national radio, but who would love to advertise their produce to their neighbours. Liberalise our airwaves so that we hear about Hay Robertson St, Haurovi P. Chinamano St. and Building Brigade St. which I could identify with in my home town!
These are my selfish reasons, why Zimbabwe should liberalise the airwaves. I hope someone out there understands and that one day this dream will come true for all small communities in my beloved nation!
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